Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
high people should be assigned attendants
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
