i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
