why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
