How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Randomize
