No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
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