she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
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I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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