This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
