I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
