i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
