so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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