Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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