Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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