She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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