Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
So much rum. So many feels.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize