I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
