Where did you get a picture of my penis
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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