I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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