You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Randomize
