I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I want a musical about memes.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
