is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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