i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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