okay pat passed out under dana's car
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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