youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
