: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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