i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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