my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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