This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
