I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I am midnight drunk by noon
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
