It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
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He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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