i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize