3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
