he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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