No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
