Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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