people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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