You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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