FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
