Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
