My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
