Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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