what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
dude i'm inner monologue high
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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