Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Found your dick twin last night
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
