Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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