"it" just moved
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
