Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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