Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?