question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
