Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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