god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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