he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize