So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
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