That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
