the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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