this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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