I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
