See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Randomize
