the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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