sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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