she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
