youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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