How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
You are a genius and a whore.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
